Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Pot-Head and the Psychic

In case you missed it, or thought that the topic would be boring because of its boring title, "Panel probes irregular campaign expenses," take a quick look at this story from the Bangor Daily News. I'm sure most of the publicly-funded campaigns in Maine were on the up-and-up, and executed by sincere individuals. But when there's free money to be had from the gummint, someone will figure out how to scam the system:

Julia St. James of Hartford told members of the Commission on Governmental Ethics and Election Practices that her independent bid for Senate District 14 in Oxford County was encouraged by her treasurer, Jessica Larlee of Minot, and her campaign manager, Daniel Rogers of Auburn. She said the two talked her into running as a publicly funded candidate and wound up taking payments of more than $13,000 for managing and running her campaign.

But wait, it gets better. St. James calls herself a "pot-head" and "weed farmer," and claims a head injury kept her in a "euphoric state" throughout the campaign, and thus less apt to question her handlers' actions.

And it turns out these folks had another game going, in the person of Green Independent Party candidate Sarah Trundy of Minot:

...Trundy spoke softly through much of her testimony and was overcome by tears when Jean Ginn Marvin, the commission chairman, repeatedly sought details on some vaguely listed expenses without success. Trundy was unable to tell Ginn Marvin who her election opponents were and could not verify that about $1,500 in reported home mailings had actually taken place.

"I'm sorry I can't be of more help," she said.

But wait, it gets even better. Psychic warfare rears its ugly head! Larlee and St. James are apparently doing battle in the ether:

"Can Julia St. James not be in this room - I'm not joking," Larlee said. "I'm on a meditation program, and I'm very sensitive to psychic energy. If you measure my brain waves, you'll see that I have a high level of delta waves like Buddhist monks do, and I do believe that she is capable of psychically attacking me."

Despite her claims of psychic sensitivity, Larlee was unaware that St. James had exited the room as she was sitting down.

"Ma'am, she's not in the room," Marvin said in a dead monotone.

"Oh, OK," Larlee replied.

Oh god oh god oh god I hope there's a video of this somewhere. Or at least an audiotape. It's a kookologist's dream. It's not everyday that one hears testimony concerning the brain waves of Buddhist monks in relation to campaign financing.



Categories: , , ,