Saturday, August 20, 2005

Good Days to Avoid Irving Oil

For those of you who travel Route One in Midcoast Maine, here's a heads-up on when to take the back roads.

It sounds like the Maine Department of Transportation will be diverting random cars (i.e. cars whose drivers don't read notices about roadblocks) into the Irving convenience stores to "survey" them on driving habits. A similar thing went on in Camden some years ago. Some answers I used at the time, that you might consider using:

What is the purpose of your trip today?

I must pollute the atmosphere as quickly as possible, so my people can colonize this planet.

I hereby invoke my Fifth Amendment right not to supply answers which might tend to incriminate me.

Finding a place to hide the bodies.

I'm going to Mexico to bring back some good ganja.

I'm driving this Chevette around to impress the babes.

Where did your trip start?

I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. I think I wrote it down somewhere. Lemme look.

What is your destination?

For crying out loud, I'm a young man yet! I don't have my whole life planned out!

A box in the ground. Or cremation. I'm not sure. What do you recommend?



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